Friday, 8 July 2011

Bad News

Well I have had a horrible day today.  It started off with me being sick and that was the best part.  The worst part, getting the news about Cas.  I had a blog written up earlier where I went on and on about my concerns for her, but I decided not to post it because I didn't want to bother everyone with my worries.  Apparently that's just not going to happen as this post is me freaking out.  I apologize in advanced.

I'm not sure if I mentioned this before, so I apologize for repeating myself if I have, but Cas has a fused fetlock in her front right.  Her leg is pretty crooked because of it and it is highly unlikely that she will ever be rideable.  We got it x-rayed and that vet told us that it was bascially a developmental issue gone wrong.  We'd caught it too late to do surgery and he said we should put her down right away.  We said no.  She wasn't in pain and wouldn't be for a long time, so we decided to keep her alive until the time came.

When Pawnee was injured the other vet came out.  I asked her to look at Cas since she was there and I knew that she had seen the x-rays.  What she told us was different from the first vet.  She said Cas had broken the fetlock but obviously not badly enough that it really affected her walking and it healed wrong and that's why it was fusing.  She was surprised that we'd decided to keep Cas alive so long as she wasn't in pain.

Now apparently Cas' fetlock is swollen to twice it's usual size (and it's already bigger than normal) and it's hot all the way up her leg into her shoulder.  She isn't moving around at all and she's barely eating anything.  Whenever my dad tried to touch her leg she bit him.  She was given painkillers but I guess they didn't really work.  My dad called the vet and told her about it, and her response was that she doesn't need to come out because she already knows what's wrong and we'll have to put her down.  I don't understand how she can make that diagnosis without coming out and seeing Cas for herself.  The fact that it's hot and swollen leads me to believe that it's in the muscle, not the fetlock.  I want a second opinion.  I found a vet clinic nearby my place that is one of the best vet clinics in my province, but the trouble will be convincing my dad to bring her down.  I don't drive nor do I own a truck or trailer so I can't bring her myself. 

I hate this, that I'm stuck two hours away from her and can't go look at her myself.  I'm afraid my dad and the vet will make decisions without me and I won't have any control over this.  I'm mad that we didn't catch this early on when she was younger so that we could have done something differently, and I promised this horse that I would make sure there were no other options for us before I put her down.  It's not her fault this happened to her.  And I really don't care if I can't ever ride her.  She is such a special horse, I would do anything for her. 

I'm sorry about this.  I'm just stressing out a lot right now.


Wolfie said...

Cjay - I don't know what happened to my comment from a couple of days ago - perhaps I didn't save it properly. I hope that Cass's injury is not as bad as it seems. I am keeping my fingers crossed. Take care.

Fetlock said...

I truly admire your outlook about your horse, and I hope everything has worked out. I have an old mare with similar problems that I adore even though she's too lame to ride...but when horses are in pain, the situation can change very quickly. Lots of good thoughts and best wishes headed your way.

twohorses said...

Cjay, I know what it is like to be in the position that you have to decide what is best for your horse, on both sides of the fence. I have kept a horse alive that may never be rideable again, but I have also had to put a horse down who I loved to bits and it was heart breaking. My thoughts are with you.

Cjay said...

Wolfie- Thank you, that means a lot.

Fetlock- Thank you. It doesn't matter to me if I can't ride her, I just love being around her.

Twohorses- Thank you. If it's the best for her, I will put her down. I just hope it doesn't have to come to that, not yet.